In this The Way I See It, reviewing and predicting the NFL Playoffs, one of many reasons I hate you people, and more.
The NFL playoffs are rolling unabated to the Conference Finals, despite the rubes who think the NFL is a sinking ship. So here we go.
Is it a coincidence that Brian Daboll left Buffalo to take the Giants HC job and Josh Allen regressed a bit this season? Perhaps, but it was clear this season that Allen wasn’t playing at 2021 levels. Also, the Bills sorely missed Von Miller’s ability to terrorize opposing QBs. Contrary to expectations, Allen wasn’t the best QB on the field in the game against the Bengals; it was Joe Burrow. Burrow’s ability to calmly read the defense and find the right man to target proved superior to Allen’s physical advantage. It also helped that the Bengals have an NFL-caliber running game, led by Joe Mixon. Once again, it’s “wait ‘til next year” for Bills fans.
While the Jaguars impressed during this season’s surprising playoff run, people never really viewed them as a threat to the Chiefs– until Patrick Mahomes went down early in the game with an ankle injury. Suddenly, the Jags’ Trevor Lawrence was in a position to pull off the upset. In contrast to Josh Allen, Mahomes was able to rise to the occasion. Mahomes returned in the second half, fighting through the pain and doing just enough to hold off the feisty Jaguars.
As a result, we are now set up for a Bengals-Chiefs Conference championship game, a repeat of last year’s contest for the Lamar Hunt Trophy. While I expect Mahomes to play, he likely will not be 100%. Mahomes’ injury, coupled with the Bengals’ superior running game, will allow the Cats to eke out another close victory to return to the Super Bowl.
How ’bout them Cowboys? Dallas fans felt confident about their chances of reaching the NFC Conference game, given that their team was facing a 49ers squad led by third-string rookie QB Brock Purdy. Unfortunately for Dallas, it was Purdy who played like a seasoned veteran, while Dak Prescott came off like Mr. Irrelevant. Which when you think about it, is a great nickname for Prescott. How ’bout them Cowboys, indeed.
The Eagles answered the questions surrounding their MVP candidate, QB Jalen Hurts, with a sound thrashing of the Giants. There were no signs of the shoulder injury that sidelined Hurts for several weeks, as he led the Birds to a one-sided romp of the Giants. The difference in talent levels between the two teams was evident from the opening kickoff, and even the normally exceptional Brian Daboll had an off day making decisions.
Looking ahead to the NFC Conference championship game, I think the key will be whether or not Brock Purdy can continue playing error-free football. If the rookie can maintain his poise, he won’t need to carry his team on his shoulders. I see the 49ers outlasting the Eagles in a hard-fought contest.
In this clip, conservative pundit Steven Crowder reveals the underbelly of “Big Con”. Consequently, Crowder exposes the TRUTH!
In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m the person that produces our Breaking News videos. They’re easy enough to write, voice, and produce. In fact, the most time-consuming part of the process is deciding on which celebrity to lampoon. It’s a fine line between jumping on someone in the current news cycle and trying to figure out if YouTube will allow it to grow organically.
Of course, you people play a large part in the process. You get to decide the direction of the Breaking News targets, via your views and likes of the episodes. It’s for that reason that I hate you all with a passion. Also, I’m a misanthrope.
The Breaking News I’m most proud of is this one of Mike Tyson. Everything worked that day: my mind was sharp, the jokes were absurdly funny, and my impersonation of Tyson’s voice was spot on. No traction at all. The same goes for the Elizabeth Warren episode: solid voice work, managed to make economics funny, and an out-of-leftfield punch line. Nothing.
Which Breaking News did you people decide to make incredibly successful? This recent episode of George Santos. Honestly, it took me 10 minutes to get that one done. In fact, probably less than 10 minutes. A stereotypical gay lisp, a few easy jokes about Santos’ lies. That’s it. I’m almost embarrassed to admit I’m responsible for it.
There was a time when I pictured myself as an undiscovered comedic genius, able to toss around rapier-like barbs and insightful sarcasm. Obviously, I was mistaken. Furthermore, my true talents seem optimized for grade school-level jokes and commentary.
And I hate you, people, for making my limitations clear to me, as well as the realization that I’m enough of a whore to continue selling out what little integrity I have left.